Bad parenting quotes are the gift that keeps on giving. Maybe they’re absurd, maybe they’re outlandish, maybe they’re… exactly what you needed to read to make yourself feel better about your parenting situation!
The days are long when you’re suffering through sleep deprivation. Between trying to get your kids to sleep and the hell that is preparing three meals a day, parenting is hard! –But these quotes about bad parenting situations make it just a little bit easier because they let us know we’re not alone.
Bad Parenting Quotes to Make You Feel Better About Your Parenting
“Can you die from sitting on the floor to play with your kid, because I just tried to get up and it feels like you can die from it.” How to be a Dad
[On having a fourth baby] “I sat the older three down and I explained to them that the new baby doesn’t mean I love them any less, but I will have to let one of them go.” – Jim Gaffigan, Mr. Universe Stand-Up Special
“You don’t have to apologize for your kids’ behavior. I’m not staring because I’m offended. I’m thrilled I’m not alone.” – Facebook.com/Imthatwife
“My kids have started removing one letter of bad words, so they can call each other names and not get in trouble. So I’ve decided to add one digit to the wifi password until they can be nice to each other. Your move, itches.” @DivergentMama on Twitter
“You thought parenting would be easy peasy lemon squeasy, but it’s actually difficult difficult lemon difficult” – The Daily Dad
“Being a parent means living on the edge… of your mattress, your patience, and your sanity.” – Facebook.com/itsmomtastic
“You know you’ve grown a lot as a parent when you watch your kid lick something in public and you think: ‘Eh, he’s licked worse.'” @perfectionpending on Instagram
“My kid and I play this fun game where he screams, ‘MOM!’ from the other room, then I scream ‘WHAT?’ back. We do that over and over until one of us is pissed. That’s it. That’s the game.” @closetoclassy
Bad Parenting Quotes About Screen Time
“First week of summer break: trips to the park, the beach, and the zoo.
Second Week of summer break: The wifi is your mother now.” – Ramblin Mama
“Person without Kids: ‘A recent study conducted at a prestigious university proved that prolonged screen time can have negative impacts that prevent learning in children, which is notable.
Person With Kids: ‘Cool. A recent study conducted in my living room proved that allowing my children as much screen time as I see fit prevented me from losing my shit, which is also notable.’ ” @Macgyveringmom22 on Instagram
“I’m in awe of people who can strictly enforce limits on screen time. We burn through the daily allowance just waiting for me to fully wake up in the AM, but good for you, Janet.” – Charissa (that’s me, yours truly)
“My grandparents used to rub whiskey on their baby’s gums, they chain smoked inside, and car seats weren’t a thing yet. But please, tell me more about how screen time will destroy my kids.” Housewife Plus
Bad Parenting Quotes About Snacks and Meal Times
If my eyes fell out of my face and my limbs were severed from my body, my kids would still walk into the room and ask for a snack. – The 21st Century SAHM.
“If I die young, it’s going to be because I choked on a cookie that I was trying to scarf down before my kids walked in the room” @momtruthbomb
“Eating in a restaurant alone in my 20s: ‘Um, what do I even do?
Eating in a restaurant alone in my 40s: ‘THIS IS THE SINGLE GREATEST THING I HAVE EVER DONE!” –Twitter.com/bngzyface
“Have kids so instead of going out to dinner, you can cook and yell until someone cries.” Another gem from Ramblin Mama
Bad Parenting Quotes About Bedtime
“My daughter woke up at 6:06 today instead of her usual 6:00 because we let her stay up 5 hours past her bedtime last night.” –@simoncholland on Twitter
“My kids do bedtime the way hobbits do meals. There’s bedtime. Second bedtime. Elevensies. Midnight Wake-Up. Middle of the Night Beverage. 3 AM Chat, and Pre-Dawn Ipad.” @themomatlaw
“Welcome to Parenthood, where you can’t wait for your kids to go to bed so you can do absolutely nothing.” – @WittyOtter
“Four kids? Bedtime is a crisis… It’s too hard! They act like they’ve never been to sleep before. There’s always one awake. It’s like they’re taking shifts!” – Jim Gaffigan, Mr. Universe Stand-Up Special
“Parenthood is finding ways to exhaust your kids throughout the day so that they’ll pass out before you pass out.” @Momcomnyc
“I’ve started promising a prize to the child who gets up the latest. So basically, I’ve peaked as a parent” – Charissa (that’s me, yours truly, again)
What’s your favorite bad parenting quote (or your favorite parenting writer)?
Drop your favorites in the comments section (and then share this post with another parent who could use a little solidarity)!